Hikou's Water Memory
by FushigiYuugiLoverJemima
Summary: Hikou's thoughts on the event that happened between him and Chichiri about Koran. Please review.


*Hikou's Water Memory--  
  
Disclamer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi or the Characters in this story.  
  
Chichiri, Houjun Rei, my friend from so long ago. My friend whom I trusted with my life unfortunately. In some cases I wouldn't have blamed him for getting mad at me. In others I would have thought that he was more forgiving than that. I find I was wrong. My childhood friend that I had known and loved for so long turned on me and fought me to the end. I fell into a world of unknown secrets, a world that I should forever be forced to dwell in. Although my friend tried to save me. He lost me to this world.  
  
I mourn for her death so very much a knife through my heart is felt from behind. My screaming from inside is painful and felt by all around. I know I am not the only one who mourns her death, but I feel that I am the only one who feels this way. I am not only upset because of her death but I am also in pain about the fact that my childhood friend killed me in his anger over my thoughts and feelings. He did not realize that he wasn't the only one whom loved her. He did not even figure to ask how I felt about them being together. I did not want him to know that deep down inside I was truly jealous and envied him and her feelings towards him. I wanted to be the one she loved so deeply and cared for so very much. I wanted to be the only one in her life. The one she lived for. Houjun was the one she cared for though only him and no one else. I know she had feelings for me, but that was only in friendship. I wanted more then that. Here now I rest in my water grave. Never to see the light of day again. Never able to tell Houjun my true feelings about him and her. Never to see him again. Never to see her again.  
  
Here now I rest. Here now I regret. I regret never telling him my true feelings. Not only do I regret, but I also burn in anger. Anger for the crime my best friend had committed. The crime of killing me. I know that he will forever regret this day. The death of his best friend and fiancée. He shall never be able to look at the water the same way that he used to ever again. To him the water will always reflect his past. The water may even reveal his future. I know that he will never forget about his feeling of this day. It shall be burned into his heart for life and will never dessice once. It will haunt him in his dreams in his thoughts. Even on the path, which he walks. He will always be reminded. A mask to hide his past. A mask to hide his memories. A mask to hide his feelings. A mask to hide his face. A face with so much to tell. A face with such a horrid look. A face that will always revile the past of which he shall never forget.  
  
I will never forget what he did to me. Should I ever be revived. I will get my revenge for what he put Koran and me through. He hurt her so much that she just couldn't take it. I couldn't take it. After her dyeing he came and killed me. I want to know what went through his mind. I want to know how he felt once his crime had been finished. How did he handle the reality of his best friend being killed by his own two hands? How did he handle that fact that he let go? How did he handle that fact that he could have held on? The fact that he could have saved me. The fact that I could still be alive at this very moment talking and walking with him. Sharing good times with him. The fact that he would have to be alone that he could have a friend to help him get through the louse. I wish that I could be there the see how he is taking it. How he is living his life now. I can only imagine how he would react. One can only imagine..  
  
§ Hey, hope you like it this is my first fic so please review. I would like to know other people's opinions about it cause most of the time your friends are all going to say that it is good and all if you know what I mean. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I am working on one like this only it is from Chichiri's point of view It may take a while cause I am quite busy but it should be done soon. Hope to hear from yall !!! Bye. § 


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